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December 25, 2009

Christmas Eve started with a To Do list.
A long one filled with Last Minute and Must Do and Needs Attention and Important, but also Silly and Relaxing and Crafty and To Enjoy all elbowing each other for their space at the top.

It was too much.  Then the fish tank heater broke.  The dog food ran out.  The phone spoke.  The errand demanded.  The dishes whined.  The laundry pleaded.

The list was abandoned.   Impossible.  We  drove to church and I cried during Silent Night, as I always do.  T sat on my lap and wanted to see the candle “CLOSER”.

T crawled into our bed at 2 am and fell back asleep.  I whispered, “Your Mama loves you” and through his sleep, he whispered back, “I know”.  “You do?” I whispered as my eyes teared up.  Eyes closed, breathing deep, he slowly nodded twice.

Now I am bursting.  I needed to write and grab this moment with the house still, my boys sleeping.

T knows I love him.  It is enough.  I am learning to let go of the list.  I have utmost progress, and it is enough.

My heart is full.  Full twice-over.
Merry Christmas.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Courtney permalink
    December 29, 2009 12:15 am

    I've read this post several times and it makes me tear up each time. So well said. On another note, why do you heat your fish tank?

  2. Robin and Kyle permalink
    December 29, 2009 12:29 am

    Um, I'm not sure why we heat the tank. Because *someone* dropped and broke the new heater while installing it, so we didn't get *another* replacement until after Christmas and the fish didn't die…but we *do* keep out house at 55 at night and I think they don't like it that cold.

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