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How to not watch a baseball game

September 4, 2011
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The boys were about as unimpressed with baseball as I’d expected, but somehow they lasted the entire game.  While Kyle is eager to introduce the boys to his team (the Brewers, obviously), we watched the Snappers, a Class A affiliate of the Minnesota Twins, beat the Timber Rattlers this afternoon.  This closer-to-home minor league team is so affordable we thought it’d be better for their inaugural trip to a ballpark.

Tea’s method of not watching the game involved the eating and doling out  of popcorn to his brother, one kernel at a time.  His view of the game was this:

Pea’s anti-baseball-watching strategy consisted of hiding behind various objects:

Trying to spark his interest, I attempted to explain some of the game to Tea.

“See that guy in the red shirt?  He’s standing on second base.  If he makes it to third base and then home plate, he scores a point for his team.”

“What’s a point?”

“Um, a run.”

“What’s a run?”

“Um, it’s part of the score.”

“Score?”

“Ummmm…this is a game.  The red team is trying to get more points than the white team.  So the score is how we keep track of which team has more points, or which team wins.”

(Blank, uncomprehending  stare – the entire concept of Sport is foreign to this child.)

All was not lost.  For some reason the Baseball Universe kept throwing freebies in our direction all afternoon.  While waiting in line to buy our tickets, a man approached us with an extra ticket their group didn’t need and gave it to us for nothing.  Score!  Not 60 seconds later, a woman offered us a free ticket voucher she wasn’t going to use.  Since kids under 5 are free, entrance for our whole family was totally paid for.  Feeling lucky, we “splurged” on a couple of beers and a popcorn for the boys, but this being the Best Ballpark Ever, it set us back only $5.  Total.

Tea got a water bottle because the boy who caught it didn’t want it, and Pea scored a baseball that one of the players tossed into the crowd (OK, so Kyle caught it for him).  Snappy D. Turtle, the Snappers mascot, signed both items for the boys.

Then during a prize drawing, the number on the back of Tea’s ticket was called and we won dinner at a supper club in town.  Should we feel guilty that it was really Tea’s win but we plan to find a babysitter so we can get a night out by ourselves?  Nah.

Of course, the thing that the boys thought was the most exciting was the bag of chips they were handed as a promotional giveaway on our way back to the car.  They talked about that the entire ride home.  The actual baseball game?  The kids barely noticed it was happening, and Kyle and I were pretty busy enjoying watching the kids.

"Make it quick, Buddy. You're interrupting my popcorn eating."

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