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This is what it sounds like to slowly go insane

January 4, 2012
by

Pea never stops chattering.  He chatters through meals, he chatters through stories, he chatters through everyone else’s conversations, he chatters well past tuck-in time at night.  Poor Tea will be snoring, exhausted, and 2 feet away Pea will chatter on in his bed for an hour.  It’s always a string of words and phrases nonsensically strung together.  Who does he think he’s talking to, and what does he think he’s saying?  He is perfectly able to have regular conversations, but if we’re not talking with him, he’s often chattering away to himself.  Enthusiastically.

I really should record him because presumably he won’t do this when he’s, say, 12, and I might miss it, or even (this seems impossible) forget.  In small doses, it is very endearing, but the steady stream of nonsense starts to eat away at my brain after awhile.  Today I just stopped to listen for two minutes and  typed what he was saying.  Just two minutes.

sugar plums dance in their heads.
in their heads.
in their hat.
in their hat.
a donkey.
hi ho the dairy-o.
no corny on the corner.
i found the corner!
in the mitten!  in the mitten.
there’s a corner.
mitten mouse mouse.
down down street.
train.
back up the tunnel.
the tunnel up.
found a little corner there.
(whispering)
drop any off.
drop any off.
drop any off.
(speaking again)
a need a little holder.
hold.
ho-ho-hold.
a little one.
i need a little one.
ho-hold!
whatever, you can’t touch it right now.
i am breaking the hole.
put it back.
let me help.
in the water.
drop!
dropped it.
(laughing)
uh, uh, up, up, up
stand down.
where is mine?
no down on the fence.
say hey, no no!
kay kay kay kay….
diddly dum. diddly dum.
dum dum dum dum dum.
haircut?
grandma, haircut?
i got it from the haircut store.
kiddie car kiddie car kiddie car.
for real, man.
i know, i know.
it might be here.
why?
Why, indeed, little guy?  Why!?
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5 Comments leave one →
  1. January 4, 2012 10:40 am

    HAHA! Maybe because I’m not there, but I find this hysterial. “For real, man.” But I have a LOUD chatterbox, too, so I can understand the lack of humor when it’s your house. Mine usually wants me to answer back. “Huh, mom? Mom?! MOM?!?!” And I haven’t been listening so I don’t know what the right answer is. I do hope you’ll record it on video for us. He’s such a cutie.

    • January 4, 2012 10:57 am

      Kyle and I often have to turn away so he can’t see us laughing when he gets going during an “inappropriate chattering time”. But he’s chattering entirely to himself and never expects any feedback. I think that’s partly what makes it so funny. It’s like we’re peering into his little brain that is firing randomly, constantly, with no filter at all.

  2. Courtney permalink
    January 4, 2012 11:02 am

    This is hilarious! It sounds like he has a direct speaker from his brain to his mouth. Perhaps you actually do want to encourage this to continue so that when he is a teenager he will never be able to keep anything secret from you. 🙂

  3. January 4, 2012 1:09 pm

    He’s like a little Charles Bukowski. Seriously, maybe you should publish a book of his poems. I also find it pretty cute.. and I think you should record some video. For blackmail, I mean posterity.

  4. Danyel Anderson permalink
    January 5, 2012 12:49 pm

    Ha. I love it. Siri chatters, but what she says makes sense to her and she wants a response. Usually a generic “oh, really” works because if I get the response wrong, she say it over and over till I respond correctly. I’m with Jess, you have got to get that on video. Wonder if his brain is amazed at all of the new English words he had learned in such a short time.

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